Well, hallo (and other such)

This blog is an experiment, namely one whose purpose is to find the answer to a burning question that needs to be answered as soon as possible: just how flowery, imagery-slathered, and syntactically confusing can my writing possibly be? Just how much pretension can I cram into any given short narrative?

That, my dear reader(s), is a question that will be answered somewhere within this post as I pontificate upon college essays, the CommonApp, and my dislike of the aforementioned.

To begin, I should say that all of my acquaintances of a similar age seem to be happily ensconced in writing essays of various sorts, as a parasitic worm clinging to the inside of its host’s intestines. Too unkind? I’ll make that a bee in a primrose. The reason for my unkindness has its roots in my appalling predilection for procrastination (half points for ‘appalling,’ perhaps?); I will not do today what I can put off until tomorrow, and since tomorrow will eventually be today this holds true for infinite todays. I learned in my lectures on mathematics that this is called ‘proof by induction.’ I feel incredibly fancy.

To return from my divergence, I hold some degree of enmity toward those who thus complete early their essays and applications. I wish to pretend that I keep abreast of my deadlines, but as one must learn there is always someone a breast-length ahead (this will be much more comforting if you have small breasts). Sadly, in my case that someone is everyone I know. And thus I feel woefully inadequate.

Lamentably, the essays and other supplements are one of the few truly useful parts of the application process!  Only through them does information about the student go beyond test scores and superficial (and very general) interests. And yet! Not only have I not written them, but neither do I particularly want to. Is this in part due to my anxieties about being unable to write a good one? Naturally, it is. But you must pretend I did not type that, because I must constantly exude such an air of confidence that I am never challenged to a duel because others assume my prowess is all-encompassing, like a set of irrational numbers.

Suffice it to say that I will get to it tomorrow (for today infinity) and that my hands are begging me with shrill orphan voices to stop typing before they stage a revolution. With that thought, I must say au revoir.

2 thoughts on “Well, hallo (and other such)

  1. A very nice start to what appears to be an interesting blog. I feel that the topic of this blog rather fits your personality well… not to say that I’m completely certain about your personality, since even I must deal with the question – in the beautiful words of Jean Valjean – “who am I.” And so where does this leave me?

    With a beautiful hook into the topic of interest of this post (well kind of… I mean, college essays not procrastination)!

    Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is evidently the question all students must ask themselves as they begin writing college essays. And it’s slightly difficult because it’s easy to say who you are but it’s very hard to say who you are in a way that would appeal to the colleges (trust me: I’ve written several essays that say who I am but have been rejected for not being appealing to colleges). So what do you do? You sound pretentious. And brag a lot. Without making it look like you’re bragging… Which is difficult for me, so we’re back to why my essays get rejected.

    Which then brings me to the explanation that even though many of your friends are happily working on their college essays, that does not mean they are more prepared than you. In fact, they might be rewriting essays every single day… or crying about the essays… or hyperventilating about the essays… or wondering if maybe the college of their dreams isn’t the college of their dreams…

    And does this comment feel like a rambling of sorts? I am very sorry.

    P.S.: I love how your voice just shines through in the post! I can hear your voice reading it aloud to me as I read it. 😀

    • HHNDL, you are darling to me. And not just because you say such pretty things about my blogging. The deep thoughtfulness you put into a simple blog comment defies the amount of thought that I put into the original post: who are we indeed, we dirt creatures who build labyrinthine paper cites around everything we want most? We have made sure that everything good is suitably hard to get to. Otherwise, I suppose, anyone could be happy.

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